There is a verse where Paul writes that he has learned to be content in all circumstances, whether with much or with little. I can't remember where it is (Philippians? Galatians?), and it is too late to take time to look it up. But I failed at this today. Utterly failed.
On the whole, I have completely loved being a stay-at-home mom. It is rewarding and more full of varied tasks and settings than sitting in front of a computer all day. I am usually as busy as I would want to be. And then today, whenever I turned my hand to a new task, I was almost instantly stymied. Hang pictures! Oh, I don't know where the hangars are. Maybe in the shed? I better ask David when he gets home. Unpack the last of the boxes! Except they are all buried in the mess of the guest room and there is nowhere for the baby to play safely while I am in there. Plant my plants! I need dirt. Take a walk! Oh, it's pouring rain. Wash a load of laundry! Well, at least I can do that... :P
I was bored, y'all. I watched a LOT of the Backyardagains and other kiddo shows with my baby. I basically had two hours of work to do in 12 hours. Booooring!
I have learned to be content in many situations, but not in transitions sometimes. The initial excitement of moving is over. I have a list of tasks that I can't do alone and a husband on 12 hour shifts. We have one vehicle so I can't go anywhere. I see ahead the daunting prospect of making all new friends and building a new community. I have a beautiful, mostly happy baby who I love, but who isn't exactly a great conversationalist yet.
I have so much. Many many things for which to be grateful. Even typing this all out has reminded me of the innumerable blessings in my life. And yet the new space is hard. The new phase of life before me is empty and yet messy all at the same time. There is much to be written, much to be done. And harder trials still to come.
Help me to learn to be content in every situation, Father. Amen.